


I will always love you

by samwhambam



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, No Sex, a cute lil argument, for once i wrote something that's not explicit, in 20 minutes, this is that moment in a relationship where, you have a silly little fight that you forget
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 14:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20761670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwhambam/pseuds/samwhambam
Summary: David makes a bold claim, one that Patrick is not interested in. One that turns into an argument where both want to prove that they are right. David's claim? That Whitney's version of "I will always love you" is better than Dolly's.





	I will always love you

**Author's Note:**

> This is silly and not the best thing i've ever written, but something was said about it in the Rosebudd and I just started writing while at work. This one's for you, friends!
> 
> Special shoutout to @olive2read who gave me the rundown of the bodyguard since i've never seen it.

Patrick was mad, fairly furious actually, and he knew he had no reason to be. But it was okay, because David was angry too. So they could both be angry. Together. Over something so stupid and trivial and something that really didn’t matter. But the thing was, Patrick was  _ right.  _ He knew he was. And he loved the argument. Loved disagreeing with David on something so stupid and insignifciant. 

The night had started perfectly. The baked ziti was in the oven, David had popped the cork on one of their better bottles of red and David had kissed him so sweetly when handing Patrick his glass. So sweetly that Patrick was still swooning through the anger. 

They had quickly settled on a record to listen to while they waited for their pasta. Dolly Parton’s 1974 classic “Jolene”. Patrick had snagged it the day before on their monthly record shopping trip. He had seen it, showed David, and then carried it around the shop with pride. 

Everything had been going great until it got to “I Will Always Love You.” They were making out, David on his lap, the ziti almost done in the oven. Patrick was warm from the wine, another one of the buttons on his shirt had been unbuttoned when David said it. 

“This version is fine, but Whitney did it way better.”

Patrick turned to avoid David’s incoming kiss. David whined above him, fingers clawing at Patrick’s neck to turn him back.

“What?” Patrick asked. For clarification. Because he hoped that he didn’t hear it right. 

“Whitney’s version is better.” David said, enunciating clearly. 

“Oh, we’re getting a divorce,” Patrick countered and David laughed loudly, his head thrown back. Patrick laughed with him because he loved these moments. When they were both so secure in their relationship and could make jokes like that. 

“Kiss me again,” David said and Patrick did. But he pulled back quickly. 

“First, just say Dolly’s is the better version.” Patrick teased.

“But Whitney’s version is the correct one. Dolly’s isn’t great, to be honest,” David said. He tried to pull Patrick into another kiss, but Patrick pulled back further. Those were fighting words.

“No,” Patrick shook his head. He gripped David’s biceps and slid David off his lap. “Dolly’s version is way better. It’s the original and so full of understated emotion and pain.”

“Um, have you seen the bodyguard?” David scoffed. “THAT is pain and emotion. The belting in that song? Diva. Untouchable. She is everything.”

“The movie was okay,” Patrick argued. “Nothing is as hauntingly beautiful as Dolly, sitting with her guitar, in 1974, singing that song. Especially since the track comes right after ‘Highlight of my Life.’”

“Okay but Whitney sings it during a break up!”

“Dolly does too! In a break up with Burt Reynolds!”

“Kevin Costner takes a bullet for her and yet she can’t do it! She has to let him go. Ultimate heartbreak!” David stood up. His hands flailed in between them. “Romance! Drama! The airport scene?”

“She’s in love with Burt and then because of him, the Bunny Ranch gets closed and it’s her life! She loses everything but can’t stop loving him! She sings it while standing on the stairs! There are tears!” Patrick argued back. 

“What are you even talking about?” David was getting yelly, his eyes wide and head thrown far back.

“Best Little Whorehouse in Texas!” Patrick threw up his hands as he also stood up. 

“Whatever!” David gestured to the record player. “Trash. Don’t disrespect Whitney.”

Patrick gasped. David put a hand on his own hip, stance ready to fight and Patrick shook his head. 

“At least we can both agree that Burt Reynolds is hotter than Kevin Costner,” Patrick said.

“Nope,” David popped the ‘p’ and then the kitchen timer went off. 

“You deal with that,” Patrick said in annoyance. Preferring Kevin over Burt? Incorrect. As David would say. 

David walked past him to the kitchen, pausing to whisper ‘Whitney did it better.’

Patrick stomped his way to the bathroom. He washed his hands angrily when a thought hit him. 

When he left the bathroom, David was sitting on the couch, bowls of pasta steaming on the coffee table. 

“Okay. Tonight, we’re going to watch Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,” Patrick sat on the couch next to David, ignoring the huff of annoyance from him. “It has Dolly Parton in black lingerie for you and dancing cowboys for the both of us.”

“Fine, but it’s not going to change my mind,” David said. 

They ate in silence as they watched the movie and when Dolly came out in her black corset, David whistled low. 

“Damn.”

“I know,” Patrick had to agree. 

As the movie played, they shifted closer and closer to each other. Patrick pulled David’s legs over his own and David’s fingers trailed up and down the back of Patrick’s neck. 

“You should grow a moustache,” Patrick said as he shifted so he was laying down. David scoffed as he followed suit, tucking his head beneath Patrick’s chin. 

“Ew, no.”

“I just wanna see it. How long do you think it would take?” Patrick pressed and David just pressed a kiss to Patrick’s sternum. “I bet it would look hot. Burt Reynolds hot. You always look hot.”

“Ugh, fine,” David said and Patrick knew he was laughing. 

The movie got to its climax and Dolly was singing to Burt Reynolds for the last time.

“Okay, this is very emotional,” David said as he pressed his face into Patrick. 

Patrick ran his hands up and down David’s back, pulling him in closer. 

The movie was over, credits rolling and Patrick smiled as he pressed a kiss into the top of David’s head. He wrapped his legs around David’s hips, cocooning him with his body. 

“Okay, that was very moving,” David said. “But I do still love Whitney’s version more.”

“Agree to disagree?” Patrick asked, calling a truce.

“Yes,” David turned his head up to look at Patrick. 

“Seal it with a kiss?” 

David responded by kissing Patrick and one of his hands creeped up to to wrap itself around Patrick’s jaw. He pulled back just enough so his mouth was a breath away from Patrick’s. 

“I love disagreeing with you as long as you always kiss me like that afterwards,” Patrick said into that magical space. 

“We got so lucky with each other,” David commented and Patrick nodded, hips lips brushing against David’s.

“Channel the rest of your anger into fucking me,” Patrick begged and David exhaled shakily. 

“I love our foreplay,” David said. He unbuttoned Patrick’s shirt further. 

Patrick kissed him hard, tongue licking into David’s mouth. 

David pulled away with a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“Kevin Costner is hotter than Burt Reynolds.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> please leave a comment saying which version you prefer. this is for science. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr [as samwhambam](https://samwhambam.tumblr.com/) !


End file.
